Between bad events and the plethora of bad news that’s been surfacing lately I haven’t had the time nor the will to bother with ye ole blog. Now that it’s Sunday and I’m trying to enjoy my solitude, I thought I’d kick things off with some lofty attempts to laugh.

Hanzi Smatter?? This site is awesome because it exploits my favorite pet peeve of people who get tattoos of Chinese characters but neither know a lick about China, its culture, or its language. Their tattoo is picked straight off the wall with a very rough translation of the character and as a result they are permanently inked with words that aren’t exactly what the artist in the shop told them it was. The translation for the picture shown above is: “Exile Husband Retrievable Arrow with a String Attached to It”. Haha.

Scariest Costumes from 2004 - A little belated but damn hilarious. Pictures include. A snippet from the site: “Transform Daddy’s little girl into America’s NEW favorite bad girl, Private First Class Lyndie England. For the costume, simply add an invisible-dog leash from a novelty shop to a pair of camouflage pants and a khaki-colored shirt from your local Army/Navy surplus store. (Candy cigarette optional.)”

21 Rationales for War There’s really more than 21 but here’s the short version of what they said and who said them. Hm, maybe this isn’t really funny at all.

JFK Reloaded -Believe in the Single (magic) Bullet Theory? Aside from being a game, if you can match and identical shot Warren Commission style you can win $100,000. Of course, you have to pay to play. Considering the conditions, I think the site owner will get $100,000 before any one comes close to a match.

Smart Room - “Your home should be a place where you feel safe and protected. With heightened concerns about bio terrorism and other security threats, more and more Americans feel vulnerable.”

Not only can you have them build one for you but you can order plans to build one yourself!

Slapstick Comedy makes a comeback! - Anne Coulter finally gets pie right in her pie hole. [Watch the video] Best Ever!

There are no Friday Funnies, most of the funnies were displayed during the presidential debate last night. I see no need to rehash them here as I’m already suffering from a Bush hangover.

VideoTwo Boys Reduced to Screaming Girls While Playing Doom 3 - A little over dramatic but still hilarious.

Interesting News
George Michael discovers a stalker has been living under his floor

New Sex Crimes? - Man Tries to Charge Wife for Domestic Abuse for not having sex with him for 5 consecutive days

Celebrate your first day on jury duty by getting drunk before you go - Supreme says its okay, “no different than a virus, poorly prepared food, or lack of sleep”

Saving the best for last -

Schwarzenegger outlaws sex with corpses - This ones too easy to make fun of…discuss amongst yourselves.

All great jokes start with Bush Quotes:

It’s just hard to resist reading Bush transcripts. He would have made a better comedian than a dictator.

• During his usual drivel of limiting frivolous lawsuits - “We’ve got an issue in America. Too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB-GYNs aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.”
• “Let me put it to you bluntly. In a changing world, we want more people to have control over your own life.” - Northern Virginia Community College Aug. 9, 2004
• “Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.” -“Aug. 5, 2004 (watch the video)

In Video - In George W. Bush’s Words: Bush’s words speak louder than actions. A nice video clip from The Daily Show. I Hope to see this being the next Bush ad on TV.

Latest Image of Hurricane Ivan (via Dave):