“Boi in Daddy’s Caddy:

I kept running into you coming in and out of the bathrooms at a local park. You kept going in the bathroom with a brown towel that looked like you had something wrapped in it and you kept gong back and forth to a big white caddy to get something out of the trunk a couple of times. I was hoping it might be a flesh light and that you would need someone to hold it for you or better yet replace it with my mouth. You had on black or dark blue long shorts and a sports shirt. You looked kind of thug looking. I was hoping you would get pissed that I kept following you and that you would grab me by the arm, pull me into the bathroom and use me gangsta style. really give me what I wanted and maybe a little more than I expected. Was hoping you would hold me down, gag me and power **** me right there in the bathroom stall. Write back if this is you and tell me what you looked like and maybe we can meet up again later today. ”

I admit, I love reading the missed connections on Craigslist. It’s a guilty pleasure.

I’m just wondering what he kept going into the trunk for, wrapping it in the towel, going to the bathroom, and doing it over and over again. Sounds more criminal than sexual, sorry poster!!!

Today is Star Wars Day, which means tonight is Star Wars Movie Marathon Monday! Also, Star Wars Weekend is approaching!

Encyclopedia Dramatica - For the Wikipedia lovers out there that also have a sense of humor, checkout Encyclopedia Dramatica and get some lulz.

TV Checkup - For those that watch medical dramas on the TVs, WebMD has a blog that goes into detail about what you saw on your favorite medical drama last night. I watch House, which tends to have a lot of rare diseases as a diagnosis for most of the cases on the show and it’s neat to read the details about such things.

Spam Showcase - Real e-mail spam that you can comment on!

A spin on Dick’s speech at the Republican Convention.

Between bad events and the plethora of bad news that’s been surfacing lately I haven’t had the time nor the will to bother with ye ole blog. Now that it’s Sunday and I’m trying to enjoy my solitude, I thought I’d kick things off with some lofty attempts to laugh.

Hanzi Smatter?? This site is awesome because it exploits my favorite pet peeve of people who get tattoos of Chinese characters but neither know a lick about China, its culture, or its language. Their tattoo is picked straight off the wall with a very rough translation of the character and as a result they are permanently inked with words that aren’t exactly what the artist in the shop told them it was. The translation for the picture shown above is: “Exile Husband Retrievable Arrow with a String Attached to It”. Haha.

Scariest Costumes from 2004 - A little belated but damn hilarious. Pictures include. A snippet from the site: “Transform Daddy’s little girl into America’s NEW favorite bad girl, Private First Class Lyndie England. For the costume, simply add an invisible-dog leash from a novelty shop to a pair of camouflage pants and a khaki-colored shirt from your local Army/Navy surplus store. (Candy cigarette optional.)”

21 Rationales for War There’s really more than 21 but here’s the short version of what they said and who said them. Hm, maybe this isn’t really funny at all.

JFK Reloaded -Believe in the Single (magic) Bullet Theory? Aside from being a game, if you can match and identical shot Warren Commission style you can win $100,000. Of course, you have to pay to play. Considering the conditions, I think the site owner will get $100,000 before any one comes close to a match.

Smart Room - “Your home should be a place where you feel safe and protected. With heightened concerns about bio terrorism and other security threats, more and more Americans feel vulnerable.”

Not only can you have them build one for you but you can order plans to build one yourself!

Today, I ventured into the booming downtown Tampa Bay area to open up a checking account.

However, it turns out that my “three forms of I.D. were not sufficient enough to establish an account, PER THE PATRIOT ACT.”

Three hours of wasted time thanks to the Patriot Act.

But wait! There is more:

Now, I can only assume that The Patriot Act, in this element, is to help deter TERRORISTS from establishing an account. [give me a fucking break]

Okay, so you need all these forms to prove you are who you are to begin the process of opening an account, right? Okay, so I obviously wasn’t able to provide this to them, even though they’re looking at my pictures, looking at me, looking at my address and matching it to the others, this is not enough, and thus the Patriot Act is enforced. [thanks you fucking republicans!]

No! My HUGE plan of FUNNELLING money to terrorist organizations [ebay] online is foiled! [oh Allah, why?]

So, I figure, now I have to go get a passport or whatthefuckever else I need to give these people my money.

Too much of a hassle, so what do I do?

I go home and I call the 1-800 number and OPENED THE ACCOUNT OVER THE PHONE WITH JUST MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER. WTF?!

Does this make ANY sense to ANYBODY?

Slapstick Comedy makes a comeback! - Anne Coulter finally gets pie right in her pie hole. [Watch the video] Best Ever!

There are no Friday Funnies, most of the funnies were displayed during the presidential debate last night. I see no need to rehash them here as I’m already suffering from a Bush hangover.