My family and I hail from Brooklyn New York, we are born with an innate knowledge of pizza. It’s a given for anybody that’s lived in New York. You can not fool us with your New York style pizza. That being said I’m going to expose the truth behind a certain pizzeria in Tampa, Brandon, and Seffner Florida that claims to serve New York pizza.

Munchies Pizza and Wings. If you live in Tampa you should be familiar with it. Especially if we know each other because I can guarantee that we’ve shared a pie there before together. It didn’t take long for this establishment to get quite popular in the area. In fact, they got so popular that they opened up a store out in Brandon, or Bloomingdale, whichever. I’ll tell you right now, most of you might agree, but once an independent place sets itself up in chain-like fashion, the quality is going to descend. That’s just what happened to Munchies.

After several bad experiences with their service and their food, last time I ate at the Munchies in Tampa, my pizza was covered in cinnamon and was swimming in a pool of grease, we never ordered from them again. That was just one more notable incident.

Well, yesterday, after a day of swimming and pool volleyball we decided to order pizza. Of course I’m the odd one out and refuse to eat chain pizza. Then my friend, Vanessa, tells me there’s a couple of Munchies that opened up out there and we could try them. So, I obliged. I figured, perhaps their pizza has retained some integrity from the day of opening.

Let me cut to the chase. We called and ordered two specials, which was 2 slices and a drink for $3.99, a chicken Parmesan sub, and fried mushrooms. The time we called was about 5:10PM. They informed us that our order would arrive in 40 minutes.

They called back around 5:45ish and wanted to verify the address and correct directions. Okay - so I assume the delivery person is on their way. Wouldn’t you? So we continue to wait.

Around 6:00PM they call back and said they are out of mushrooms and chicken Parmesan so we had to change our order. Yes, they call an hour later to tell us half of our order wasn’t in stock. Our friend Marsha said to hell with it and cancelled hers and left. Danielle changed her order to the special, 2 slices and a drink.

6:20 rolls around and I tell Vanessa that she should call them back to see if they left yet, because she had to leave at 6:30 to pick up her cat from the vet. She calls and the person on the phone says the delivery guy just left. Vanessa says, “It’s been almost an hour and a half, do you think we can get a discount?” The lady on the phone says, “Yes, no problem.”

Well, Vanessa had to leave, seeing how it’s a little after 6:30 and Danielle and I wait around for them to show up.

It took two people to deliver the food. We answer the door, take the food and the guy tells us that our total is $14.61, with our discount. Three specials at $3.99 a piece including a discount came to $14.61. I’m not a math wiz by any means, but I’m not that dense.

I look at this guy and I say, “$14.61 for three specials and it’s an hour and a half late? Do you really expect us to pay for this?” He looks at the ground, and Danielle just hands him the money, and my head is throbbing with anger. They leave and I open up the box of pizza and well, there was no way that was going in my mouth. It was obvious that the original 4 slices had been sitting there and when we had to change our order they waited for the other two slices and tossed some cheese on the original and microwaved it. At least, I hope that’s extra cheese on top.

We call again. Danielle speaks to the manager of Munchies and they offer to send us out a 14” pie in replace of our order for free. Sounds like a good deal right? No. A 14” pie costs $8.50. Danielle asks the lady if the pizza could be there in a half an hour. She gets put on hold and then someone hangs up on her and then she has to call back. The lady tells her that she can’t guarantee a delivery in 30 minutes. I tell Danielle to tell them we’re taking their food back. Which is what we did. When Danielle got there the place was empty all the workers sitting around doing nothing.

Trust me when I tell you, Munchies sells bad quality pizza under the impression of being New York style. New York would be enraged had they seen this pizza this establishment was trying to pass of as New York style. It was wretched.

I thought I would share a bad experience of a once very excellent pizza parlor in Tampa, ya know, for the locals out there. I think I might have to follow this up with my favorite pizza picks in the Bay area. Because if you’re munching on Munchies, you might as well just call Dominoes.