Today, I ventured into the booming downtown Tampa Bay area to open up a checking account.

However, it turns out that my “three forms of I.D. were not sufficient enough to establish an account, PER THE PATRIOT ACT.”

Three hours of wasted time thanks to the Patriot Act.

But wait! There is more:

Now, I can only assume that The Patriot Act, in this element, is to help deter TERRORISTS from establishing an account. [give me a fucking break]

Okay, so you need all these forms to prove you are who you are to begin the process of opening an account, right? Okay, so I obviously wasn’t able to provide this to them, even though they’re looking at my pictures, looking at me, looking at my address and matching it to the others, this is not enough, and thus the Patriot Act is enforced. [thanks you fucking republicans!]

No! My HUGE plan of FUNNELLING money to terrorist organizations [ebay] online is foiled! [oh Allah, why?]

So, I figure, now I have to go get a passport or whatthefuckever else I need to give these people my money.

Too much of a hassle, so what do I do?

I go home and I call the 1-800 number and OPENED THE ACCOUNT OVER THE PHONE WITH JUST MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER. WTF?!

Does this make ANY sense to ANYBODY?

We’ve come to the conclusion that Saturns are built out of tupperware and cotton:

bizarre unnecessary drama.
car crash. ugh. car totalled? Out of state driver in F150’s can’t drive.
more to add. more to come.

a.r.g.h.

Slapstick Comedy makes a comeback! - Anne Coulter finally gets pie right in her pie hole. [Watch the video] Best Ever!

I thought I’d share a small list of free programs I’ve been using lately.

AWStats - This is an awesome log file analyzer for your website. It has a huge list of powerful features to keep track of your site’s stats. Very impressive software.

RealVNC - Since I don’t own a KVM switch I needed something quick to help admin the server and I came across VNC. With VNC it’s possible to fully-interact with one computer from any other computer or mobile device anywhere on the Internet.

Stellarium - This is a neat astronomy program that renders 3D photo-realistic skies in real time. Because we love space!

Very small list, indeed.

As Google continues to expand, new features seem to be popping up left and right lately. Google now has SMS.

How it works is, you send a text message to 46645 (GOOGL) with your text message being your search. Then Google will text message you back with the results. They have a sample page of all it’s different uses.

A few useful things being business and residential listings. Pretty neat.

There are no Friday Funnies, most of the funnies were displayed during the presidential debate last night. I see no need to rehash them here as I’m already suffering from a Bush hangover.

Here’s a few belated pictures from Frances and Jeanne. I have 3 albums to upload but haven’t setup the new gallery yet. More to come.

1. First picture was from Frances, after being frustrated being without power for several days.

2. Second picture is from Jeanne that just passed, a branch that was impaled into the roof of the front porch.

3. Third picture, also from Jeanne, was a branch that caved in the fence and tried to dismember our BBQ that’s hidden underneath it. Don’t worry, BBQ is fine

My (former) hosting company decided to drop my service without notifying me of it expiring. Of course, leaving me without a backup and a lot of phone rage. After explaining to them that they breached their own TOS, I was able to gain access to my account for 24 hours, with a cost! Bastards! They charged me $10 for 24 hour FTP access to get whatever I needed. Originally, they tried to charge me $20 for this “courtesy service”. Amusing, since they charge $7.95 a month for hosting.

The entire process took about 10 days, at which I was without receiving e-mail and the site was officially gone. I have officially recovered (as of yesterday) from ipowerweb’s complete ignorance. Not including the price I paid to backup the site, I have hosting, domain hosting, e-mail, sub domains, the whole nine yards…for free. So neener, neener, neener.

If you see anything funny, broken links etc., etc., let me know. I’m still trying to fix the comments so that a commenter can be e-mailed when someone replies to their comments. Whew, glad that’s all over with.

VideoTwo Boys Reduced to Screaming Girls While Playing Doom 3 - A little over dramatic but still hilarious.

Interesting News
George Michael discovers a stalker has been living under his floor

New Sex Crimes? - Man Tries to Charge Wife for Domestic Abuse for not having sex with him for 5 consecutive days

Celebrate your first day on jury duty by getting drunk before you go - Supreme says its okay, “no different than a virus, poorly prepared food, or lack of sleep”

Saving the best for last -

Schwarzenegger outlaws sex with corpses - This ones too easy to make fun of…discuss amongst yourselves.